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SUMMER

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COIFFED

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OBSESSION

uncertain thoughts: pt. ii

If you guys have been around for a while, then you would know of a post I wrote title "uncertain thoughts" a little over a year ago, where I pretty much poured out my emotions in a not-so-long post.  We all have those days that are overwhelming, and at that point, I needed to vent properly.
Well, this is sort of an update on that.

The last few months, I have found myself back into those thoughts of uncertainty as it relates to my job.  I can let you know now, that we chose to renew our lease, redecorate our apartment and save up more to hopefully buy a house in the next 2 years or so and I haven't even began to think of going back to school.
Now that that's out of the way...

I've been having these talks with myself (and in the sane way guys, not out loud and I don't answer back, lol) for a while and with each reflection, I grew more and more at peace with the decisions that needed to be made.  Over the summer, I took a lot of time off from work so that I could be with my family.  This year was the first year EVER that I was able to be home and watch my kids flourish.  My son will be 15 next month and it has been since he was a baby that I could dedicate time to him.  I've held either an afternoon or evening position in every job that I've had.  You can imagine the toll that it places on the mother/child bond.  We are very close, but I feel that there are some things that (my son in particular) they will ask my husband over me for.  Imagine the stress it placed on my husband who works damn hard during the day to have to come home and do homework and tend to a rambunctious little girl who demands all of your attention.  I am so very lucky to have him as my better half.
I can't imagine a lot of couples going through this.

It took some back and forth mentally for me to come to my most recent decision, primarily because I am a creature of habit and big changes are so frightening to me.  But it had to be done.  It had to be done for the sake of my family who not only need daddy home at night, but mommy too.  It had to be done for the sake of my husbands stability.  While he never mentions a word to me about it, I know he needs his moments of clarity, everyone does.  He was just recently promoted at his job and he needs all the rest he can possibly get.  Last, it needed to be done for my sanity!  I won't get into what that I faced at work, but I felt it hindered my creativity.  I was extremely stressed to the point I would get an intolerable attitude before I had to go in.  The list is just out of control.

I say all of this to say that...

On Friday, November 7, 2014, I put in my notice of leaving my position.  My last day will be November 15 and I can't be happier with my decision.
I am going to work on my projects, continue on with my YouTube channel, blog way more and see how far I can go in the world with my platforms.
I'm giving myself a year to see how far I can go and re-evaluate at that point.
My family needs me and I'm ready to feel free.

So...
Thank you, again, for listening to me release.

xo, Chanda